


A New Tradition Comes to Araluen

by ThefirstRanger



Series: Tax Evasion AU [4]
Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan, The Brotherband Chronicles - John Flanagan
Genre: Araluen is less forgiving than Skandia when it comes to taxes, Crowley gets arrested, Gen, Tax evasion au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23178670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThefirstRanger/pseuds/ThefirstRanger
Summary: Gilan tells Crowley about Lydia and Ingvar's tax evasion scheme and Crowley is a little too interested in finding out more. Unfortunately, Araluen is less forgiving than Skandia when it comes to taxes, but Crowley has found out about a new tradition and he's just getting started.
Relationships: Crowley Meratyn & Gilan Davidson, Crowley Meratyn & Halt O'Carrick
Series: Tax Evasion AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657705
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35
Collections: Ranger’sApprenticeFics





	A New Tradition Comes to Araluen

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in my Brotherband "Marriage for tax evasion only" universe and the premise of this fic was inspired by @rangerpippin! Thank you!

Gilan was finishing up some extra paperwork with Crowley (It was more like Crowley was doing the paperwork and Gilan was there to provide helpful comments) when he read Lydia’s letter and spit out his water. 

“Hey!” exclaimed Crowley. “Watch where you’re spitting!” 

Gilan spluttered out an apology as he kept his eyes on Lydia’s letter. He couldn’t believe his eyes; the letter read that Lydia and Ingvar had gotten married the year before for a tax evasion scheme, which had inspired Hal and Stig to get married. Gilan idly wondered what was wrong with Skandians that they went to such extremes to avoid taxes. In Araluen, everyone grumbled about taxes, but they paid them.

“Well, are you going to tell me what made you choke and spit water all over my desk or am I going to lie awake tonight wondering what that blasted letter was about?”

Gilan didn’t trust himself to accurately sum up the wild letter or even speak so he wordlessly handed the letter to Crowley, who accepted it with a grunt. 

As Crowley scanned the letter, his eyes got wider and wider until he finally reached the end of the paper. 

“Can you believe this, Crowley?” laughed Gilan. “They got married to avoid paying taxes. They’re breaking the law!”

In his laughter, Gilan failed to notice the thoughtful look on Crowley’s face and the way Crowley started to scribble a furious letter.  
~  
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Wiglafson-Demarek,  
You probably don’t remember me, but we met briefly when you and your brotherband were at Castle Araluen. My name is Crowley Meratyn, first in command of the King’s Ranger’s, and what I would consider to be a father figure to Gilan Davidson. I was working on some paperwork with Gilan when he received your delightful letter and while I must say we had very different reactions to the letter, Gilan did give me your contact information so I could get in touch.”

Lydia looked up from the letter. “Is Crowley going to arrest us for something? It sounds like he’s about to arrest us.”

Ingvar shushed her. “Just keep reading!”

“All of this is to say that I found your letter and the situation you are in, which I will tactfully not name in this letter to avoid implicating myself and you, to be utterly fascinating and, quite frankly, inspiring. If you are willing, I would love to hear more about your “situation” and how you increased your “situation” as I am also in a similar “situation” to you in regarding a desire to decrease tax payments. Please write back if you are willing and I beg for your utmost secrecy.  
Sincerely,  
Crowley Meratyn.  
P.S. Please burn this letter once you read it.” 

Lydia and Ingvar had converted another person to elaborate tax schemes, and they had converted the head of the Ranger’s Corps! There was nothing they couldn’t do and they eagerly struck up correspondence with Crowley, who eagerly wrote them back.  
~  
“Dear Lydia and Ingvar,  
Thank you for your prompt response. The details you provided were helpful and I have started to look into the Araluen laws. I don’t know if I will go quite so far in my scheme as you two did; the person I would marry already regularly commits tax fraud with his wife, but I do think that I can increase some of my deductions. Instead of putting Halt, Gilan, and Will down as my only dependents, I believe that I will put all the rangers down. It is not a lie to say that they depend upon me. You haven't seen them during meetings. It is terrifying. I do have to uphold the law as a ranger and Araluen is a bit stricter than Skandia in tax laws so that is the only deduction I will take. Your heroism is inspiring.  
As for your other inquiry, I would be more than happy to oblige. The tax seasons of Araluen and Skandia don’t match up so it would be no problem at all to delay your friend’s taxes so they’re in season for Araluen but not Skandia. Is it highly illegal? Yes, but based on the lengths that your friend has gone to and the unnecessary custody battle he put you through, I think it is justified.  
I hope to hear from you again and wish you great luck in your endeavors. Tax season here in Araluen is almost upon us, so wish me luck.  
Warm regards,  
Crowley Meratyn”  
~  
Several weeks later, Will burst into Gilan’s room in the cabin with wide eyes. “Come quick! They just arrested Crowley!”

If Gilan had been drinking water, he would have spit it out. Instead, he opted for grabbing his bow and springing up. 

“Who did? Was it Morgarath’s men? I’ll shoot them, just point them out to me.” Gilan was roaring for a fight; anyone who tried to mess with Crowley deserved it. 

Will just shook his head and pointed outside. “Come on!”  
~  
Crowley was struggling furiously against the men holding him, kicking and screaming and doing his best to get away from his captors. 

“Let go! I didn’t do anything wrong- I filled out my taxes for goodness sakes!”

Gilan strode across the lawn, his oakleaf gleaming. 

“STOP!” Gilan cried, using his most imperious voice. “You can’t arrest this man!” 

Will trailed uncertainly behind Gilan. He knew what Crowley had been arrested for and he wasn’t sure if Gilan had any right to prevent the arrest, especially if Crowley had done what they were arresting him for. Rangers got some leniency in breaking the law if it was for the greater good, but this was plainly self serving. 

The guard glared at Gilan. He didn’t have time to deal with rangers; the commandant had wasted enough time and resources already. The head guard didn’t need or want any more distractions today. 

The head guard roughly shoved Gilan a stack of letters and papers. “We’re arresting your mentor because he committed tax fraud. Put down that he had 49 dependents on his forms.” Gilan could only stare at the documents in his hands. Crowley had indeed written down 49 dependents on his forms and all 49 of them were the rangers, including Gilan himself. In addition, there were incriminating letters to a Mr and Mrs. Wiglafson-Demarek that were proof of his tax evasion. It hit Gilan like a load of bricks when he realized Crowley was writing to Lydia and Ingvar. 

He cursed under his breath. Of course Crowley had been inspired by Ingvar and Lydia. Gilan was going to write them a strong letter as soon as everything got straightened out. Maybe even go to Hallasholm and yell at them for a long time. 

The guard continued. “He also delayed a Araluen-Skandian citizen’s tax payment. Ain’t no way this criminal is getting away with his ruthless tax scheme.”

In the distance, Crowley yelled at them. “All the rangers are dependent on me! You try being in charge of them and seeing how it goes.” 

The soldiers ignored his cries and carried him off to the castle. Will turned helplessly to Gilan. 

“Isn’t there something we can do?” he begged. 

Gilan couldn’t think properly. All he could focus on was the fact that Crowley had committed tax fraud and that Lydia and Ingvar had encouraged it. His world was imploding.

"I think we have to let Crowley get arrested."  
~  
Currently Crowley was sitting in one of the nicer dungeon cells. He had refused to own up to his supposed tax evasion scheme and so he hadn’t left his cell for a week. It was quite nice actually, he thought. There was no paperwork to be done, no rangers to deal with, absolutely nothing. People had visited him all week, begging him to leave the cell, but Crowley had told them he had faith in the bureaucratic process and he wasn’t moving until this was all sorted out. Given the nature of the taxes and the current state of the corps, Crowley didn’t think his vacation would stop anytime soon. 

Will and Cassie had tried to break Crowley out the first night with a metal file, but they had been caught by the patrolling guards. The next day, Halt had stared coolly at Crowley through the metal bars. 

“You deserve this you dummy.”

Of course Halt would go straight to the problem, no pleasantries at all. 

“If you and Pauline had let me in on your tax plan, I wouldn’t have had to write you all in as my dependents.” Crowley tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but it still seeped through. Pauline got great tax benefits and Halt paid virtually nothing. 

Halt crossed his arms. “You know that I pay Hibernian taxes and Pauline pays essentially nothing because she gives it all to charity?”

Crowley scoffed. “You’re the king of Clonmel; I know for a fact you don’t pay taxes.”

For the first time since seeing his friend arrested for tax fraud, Halt smiled. The situation was just too absurd. “You can’t pay taxes if you’re legally dead and the king.”

At that, Crowley couldn’t take it anymore and his bitter facade cracked. He burst out laughing and Halt joined him. After a minute or two, Halt was wiping tears from his eyes. 

“I get exiled and you get arrested; the corps really is made up of criminals.”

“Have fun dealing with all those criminals for the next few weeks. I’m using all my vacation days. I won’t be out for weeks.” 

“I hate you so much right now.”

Crowley leaned back on the cold stone wall. Despite the uncomfortable surroundings, he was having the time of his life. He was doing the time of his life.

“I know.”  
~  
Later that week, a guard tossed a lumpy package into Crowley’s cell. 

“Here ya go Crowley.”

Crowley looked up in surprise from his bed. “Oh thanks, Al. Have a nice day.”

“You too buddy.”

Al left and Crowley went to pick up the package. He had been getting mail all week, from everyone he knew. Gilan had sent several disappointed letters, Pauline had sent condolence flowers, Duncan had written a furious letter that didn’t quite hide his admiration for the scheme however illegal it might have been, Alyss had sent him the latest copy of Araluen’s tax laws, and on one memorable occasion, Horace had tried to ship Will into the cell for a breakout attempt. It hadn’t worked and Crowley didn’t appreciate the effort. He liked his vacation.

There was no return address for the package and no marking on the wrappings. Crowley decided to take a risk and open it. What was the worst that could happen?

Inside the package was a large bottle of wine, easily double the size of Araluen wine bottles. Crowley picked up the bottle and examined it, turning it from side to side. It was full of the oldest and most expensive Skandian wine that he had ever seen. A note fell to the floor and Crowley bent to pick it up.

“Dear Crowley,  
First of all, please let us apologize for the late gift. Gilan didn’t tell us about your arrest until a little later and it took some time to find an appropriate gift. Hopefully the bottle is enough to get you through your stint in jail. Gilan was furious about that in his letter. He said that you were supposed to have more common sense than us, but we think that you have the most common sense of any Araluen citizen. Secondly, congrats! You’ve committed your first tax evasion! We are so proud of you! We’ll keep writing back so we can coordinate our efforts for next year. Our best tax man has some ideas that could work...  
Again, we’re so proud! 49 rangers is a big responsibility and we honestly don’t see why you can’t put them all down as dependents. It makes perfect sense. We have people who don’t even exist put down on our forms. Anyway, have fun in jail.  
With love,  
Ingvar and Lydia Wiglafson-Demarek  
P.S. Hal was furious when he found out his tax payments wouldn’t count for this year. Thank you so much!”

Reading the letter made Crowley’s heart warm with pride. Getting this kind letter had made it all worth it, he decided. Crowley tucked the letter into his cloak pocket and looked at the bottle of wine. If he was going to be here for a while, he might as well get comfortable. Popping off the cork to the bottle, Crowley took a big sip and settled in. It was going to be a peaceful vacation and it was going to be a better tax season next year.


End file.
